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Sunflower
13 Aug
If anyone wants to talk I'm here :)
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Tiger
14 Aug
Anybody awake? I wish there were more activity/people on here
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Evergreen Tree
15 Aug
I need someone so bad to just check on me or stay with me today to make sure im okay and safe. But i cant find anyone. 😢😢
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Lemon
Helper
15 Aug
I’m here!!
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Chipmunk
16 Aug
When I turn inside to find myself, I am sucked up into a tornado. Who am I? Where am I? Where an what is my true self? I know that I exist, but what in me does exist?
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Chipmunk
16 Aug
I haven't figured how site works, so I post to anyone out there. I'm in a spiritual/psychology conundrum. I am disillusioned with contemporary Christianity having deconstructed it. That leaves me blowing in the wind of a tornado. I can now longer search outside myself for consistency by believing ancient creeds and dogma, but that requires diving inside to find the God Above in me. However, how can I locate God within when I can not even find myself inside. I seem to have no self. I have an unsure and shifting sense of self, not connecting with anything consistent through time. How can I stand and walk by myself when I can not discern a self?
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Hamster
25 Aug
I seem to keep meeting people who want my trust, but abuse it and leave me. Or ones who want no part of knowing or loving me other than on the most physical level. It's infuriating and makes it impossible to trust people... I'm getting to know someone right now who disappeared for a month immediately after we decided to get to know each other, then told me it was because his grandma died. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and another chance (because "shit happens" is essentially my life slogan) and we moved the convo to another platform, where the name associated with the user handle isn't the name he gave me, nor even the gender he gave me. I asked him about it and am waiting to hear more. So far I got a name clarification, but still no understanding why the two nsmes don't match. To be clear, I have no problems with a trans partner if that's what's up, and I'm open to dating nonbinary persons across the board. I'm pretty sure I put that in my profile even. I DO have problems with information discrepancies when meeting someone new and trying to feel out the potential of a romantic partnership. Because of that, I did a little checking on social media, and neither him nor his family posted anything about grandma's passing... No obitiaries online either. Yes, I acknowledge it's shady to check up on a potential partner like this, and it didn't bring me any comfort or enrichment, but again, trust issues and info discrepancies. I'm seeing the red flags and wondering what game is being played... I feel my walls going up and the crack in the wood but trying not to split before I have more facts. Why is dating so awful? I miss being able to just love someone (until they piss me off. Lol) Just wanted to let it out because it's all rattling around in my head and keeping me up. Anyone else go through this stuff? How do you handle it? The uncertainty kills me. The potential for things to be amazing or terrible... ugh. Dating while BPD.
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Violin
Helper
27 Aug
Hey I feel hopeless I want to talk to someone but I can’t do it, I feel like everything isn’t real, I really want to kms but I don’t see any exit
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Elephant
Helper
28 Aug
Took me a white to accept it but here I am. I’m 31 trying to understand and come to grips with the fact that I don’t know who I am day to day. Some days I wake up as the most confident person in the world, others I’d rather nobody look me and I’ve been walking around acting like that’s normal. I don’t know who I am anymore, just fragments of my personality. All have different traits. All have different interests and it’s just me in the middle wishing I could give a shit about any of those things that used to take up a part in my brain that stimulated any kind of reaction:
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Elephant
Helper
28 Aug
Fed up of no knowing who I am. One day I’m the most confident man in the party, the next I don’t know who I am. I just want to be understood.
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Elephant
Helper
28 Aug
The closest I ever feel to acceptable by MJ family is when I’m unmedicated and when I don’t talk about it.
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Elephant
Helper
28 Aug
Go easy on yourselves. We can do a lot of good on with world.
2
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Whale
Helper
30 Aug
I’m actually so done with this. How is this mental issue even manageable, I can’t take it anymore, not knowing who or what I am, extreme reactions which hurt everyone around me, addictions, abandonment issues to the point I’d rather die than be left by anyone. How do I manage this honestly. Don’t know how much longer I can take it
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Palm Tree
31 Aug
Wow. I never understood what this was until I started reading.. I don’t have a diagnosis but I hit so many of the marks and now I’m terrified… I don’t know where to start it what to do.
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Hamster
7 Sep
High reactivity day today. It's likely worse due to hormones, but it's difficult today. I'm having a lot of anxiety. Can't focus on anything and wanting to push everyone away while simultaneously feeling like people I care about don't care back. I'm so sad and so hurt and so angry and anxious. I want to be productive but can't stop my wheels spinning long enough to commit to a direction. I know that this is going to spiral to health anxiety later and asocial behaviour. I have the screaming thought that I NEED... but there's nothing coming to mind to finish the statement so I can find a direction. Or maybe too many things? I dunno what I'm thinking. The feels are too big and are clouding everything. Going to try to meditate for a while, but every time I slow down today, I find myself crying. I may do a bit of gaming to distract myself until I can pick a track and push myself to do something today. I have so much on my plate. I can't afford to have these kinds of days. I've worked too hard to get my shit together. I know I need to be kind and compassionate to myself, but my rage is looking for a focus. Probably gaming is the best route for now. 😋 Ugh.
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Fox
Helper
8 Sep
I had to leave because it was for my own good
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Chipmunk
9 Sep
Yay bpd episode here we go….. accidentally trying to suppress my emotion I feel the ball of sadness suffocating me when will me next switch be 3 min , 10 min and hour feeling lonely and abandoned of course defensive. I realize it I’m self aware and yet I’m helpless at the safe time
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Evergreen Tree
Helper
10 Sep
ive learned that bpd can come from trauma and ive talked to someone and i can see some but theyre small but yet so hurtful and i feel so shit it fucking sucks having bpd the mood swings and feeling things so much more intensely are shit and the self destructive things i do to myself is like im trying to get better but the fucking bpd is like noo ur gonna stay shit
2
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Koala
Helper
12 Sep
I’m new here and I don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to join in. My husband was diagnosed with BPD several years ago after not having a diagnosis of any kind that made any sense. Neither of us knew what this diagnosis meant. And we didn’t really have anyone explain it to us. He passed away 4 years ago and this is the first time that I’ve seen anything about it or had any chance to talk to anyone else about what it is. I hope to learn lots more from this group of people. Thank you for sharing with me.
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Hamster
14 Sep
Wow. Just watched a video of a cat being hilarious and it made me laugh so hard I teared up but it immediately turned to confusing sad crying that won't stop. Not sure whether it's just a BPD emotional overwhelm issue or something else like hormones or something. So exhausting. Wtf brain?
3
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Duck
Helper
15 Sep
I hate this world. I just want to be free.
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Dolphin
Helper
15 Sep
Hello. Hope everyone is doing ok, and if not my PMs are open. :)
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Octopus
16 Sep
Anybody else feel the constant need to be ‘good’ at something, just to receive validation from your spouse? I don’t feel like I even have an identity anymore
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Full Moon
Supervisor
16 Sep
10
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Chipmunk
17 Sep
I can’t stop crying I’m drunk I’m not supposed to drink with my meds and I got cheated on I need to feel comfortable and I don’t I feel unsafe I just want a hug but be fing another girl
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Whale
17 Sep
going through the worst breakup of my life, feeling suicidal and worthless and depressed, lost my job today as well , anything else bad want to happen? #mentalhealth #imdone
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Tiger
22 Sep
I really want someone I can talk to on here who has healed from BPD and understands how I feel. I need hope.
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Fox
Helper
22 Sep
Are you aware of your disorder? Sometimes mine acts up and it takes me time to reflect and calm down
4
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Duck
22 Sep
This is for anyone with Quiet BPD
2
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Turtle
Guide
23 Sep
🌺🌺🌺PMA🌺🌺🌺 ♥️ Najwa Zebian writes in her book Welcome Home on how to heal, and start building your own home and take accountability for our own healing. I definitely recommend it ♥️📖
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Hedgehog
30 Sep
I repeatedly read the phrase "feel your feelings" often followed by "but don't be your feelings." I'm curious, because our emotions are all wicked out, ought we to even feel them? Can we simply acknowledge our feelings, admit they are present and go about out current business, not deny or reject them, not hate the hard or the bad ones, not get upset for having them, but simply treat them as sticks floating by in the river of our consciousness, watch them flow down the stream, around a bent and gone. What are your thoughts on this?
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Tiger
30 Sep
I’m not close enough with anyone for me to talk about how I actually feel.
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Tiger
1 Oct
I want to be normal. I want to know what it feels like to not have a mental illness. I envy people who seem to be perfectly happy with themselves and their life. Shouldn’t it be as easy as that?
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Elephant
1 Oct
Im borderline really mad at the entire world.
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Guitar
2 Oct
It’s unfortunate how low you can feel. Especially when you feel you have no one to reach out to.
3
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Hedgehog
2 Oct
One sad part of BPD is the we do have people and social institutions to reach out to, but we FEEL we have no one to reach out to. Our (my) feelings deceive us (me). They lie to us. For me and I believe all of us feelings dominate us, determine our reactions, dictate our decisions. If my brain was not defective all these years then my thoughts, my reasoning would be more of a guide for me, but, alas, no. :( I send to you love, empathy, and desire for you to reach out to others even though you do not Feel they are there. They are there. We are here. I am here.
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Tennis
3 Oct
I self harmed for the first time in almost 9 months... That's the longest I've ever gone. And now I feel like even more of a failure. I tried so hard not to do it, I was having an internal battle for hours and it all ended like that anyway! Why am I so stupid????
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Sled
Guide
3 Oct
2
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Sunflower
4 Oct
Hey guys. My whole body and my mind and my face to my foot I feel like my body is going out of me. Feeling super weird. Kinda tangling on my face and neck. Is this sign of death? I really hope not. I feeling kinda scared.
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Lion
4 Oct
Sometimes we feel like our problems only start and end with us. That's not true; Its not your fault and many others can relate to your experience.
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Chestnut
4 Oct
Does anyone else experience symptoms of many other mental illnesses?. I realize I relate to many disorders but not sure if I’m just telling myself that or it’s true
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Sun
6 Oct
I’m undiagnosed but I’m 99% sure I have borderline personality disorder. I don’t know how to go about getting diagnosed and getting help especially when I don’t understand what is really happening
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Chestnut
7 Oct
I know there’s a lot of parents who have children with mental health problems but… I want a child even though my mental illnesses are in no way better
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Fox
8 Oct
I’m mad at someone who acted out on me of bpd . Can I talk to someone ??
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Fox
8 Oct
My sister has been outraged because I’m still on meds after I said I’d decrease them. She doesn’t get the process and wants me to stop right now but I can’t . She cut a lot of my belongings and she won’t stop until I find a solution but I’m so upset , she cut up my bag/ souvenir from my trip this summer 😭 . I don’t want to talk to her but everytime If I don’t , she destroys another one of my belonging . I feel like I’m living in fear right now . It’s terrifying . I’m losing it 🥺😭
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Evergreen Tree
8 Oct
I wish i had someone to hold my heart when i feel like i cant.. Just someone to sit thru this darkness with me... Its hurts so bad.
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Koala
8 Oct
Has anyone ever experienced mild serotonin overstimulation? I'm not sure if thats whats happening or just general anxiety but I feel like my heart is racing and im fearful of everything and the only thing that seems to calm me, even slightly is hiding under the covers
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Maple Leaf
9 Oct
I need someone to talk too 😔
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Rabbit
13 Oct
My favourite person walk out of my life How do I get through this?? My favourite person completely left my life by ghosting me then changing number and blocking me on social media!! I have completely went down hill in the week
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Rabbit
Tuesday
I feel like my BPD is controlling my life
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