The Path of Self Love School has identified 11 specific types of self love that are both related and distinct. These are called "the 10 branches of self love" plus the roots of self worth, which together make up the self love tree. Just like any other 🌳, you want all the branches and the roots to be strong so the whole tree is healthy and strong. Most people have a few weak branches and a few small branches. Which branches feel undernourished, unkempt, or just plain ignored? Which branches are strong, full of abundance and life force?
Can you see the tree here? (I'm an android user so I don't have the ability to directly post pictures.) https://www.dropbox.com/s/s003sofl5r0th3g/theselflovetree.jpg?dl=0
SELF AWARENESS & HONESTY is a deep understanding of who you are and who you are not, with an unwavering commitment to the truth about how your actions, thoughts, and choices affect your reality and the people and the world around you.
SELF ACCEPTANCE is the choice to actively like who you are, without exception, judgment, or wishing you could be someone other than you. In fact, truth be told, you adore and appreciate who you are and would not trade places with anyone else for the world (at least for a few moments!) You consistently acknowledge yourself for all the ways in which you are imperfectly, perfectly you.
SELF CARE is choosing to make sure that you get what you need on all levels – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally – every day.
SELF COMPASSION & SELF FORGIVENESS is choosing to open your heart and be a loving witness to yourself, without judgment, by sending yourself waves of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that touch, heal and transform your imperfections, weaknesses, Vulnerabilities, and humanness through the presence of your unconditional love.
SELF TRUST is choosing to listen to and follow the guidance of your inner voice, believing you know what is right for you, even when other people think or say otherwise.
SELF ESTEEM is a strong belief and regard for yourself, a strong confidence in your ability to do and be anything.
SELF EMPOWERMENT is choosing to take charge of and responsibility for your life by acting to create the life you really desire, without apology.
SELF EXPRESSION is the choice to let the world see you, fully, truthfully, and without apology or holding back. Full, free expression of your heart and soul.
SELF RESPECT & SELF HONOR is the unwavering commitment to making only choices that respect and honor the sacred soul that you are.
SELF PLEASURE is choosing to consistently create, receive and experience joy, ensuring that your soul is fully fed and nourished.
SELF WORTH is choosing to value yourself from the inside out without regard to external standards or opinions and as such create your life from the knowledge that you are enough just as you are right now.
Rate each of the branches with the following scale: 10 – SUPER STRONG. You feel really connected to and strong in this aspect of self love, like you can make choices in your daily life that feed this branch and align with this branch. 5 – NEEDS ATTENTION. This branch needs some attention or else you may be in big trouble. If you don’t know what strength level a branch is, it’s probably around 5. 1 – NEGLECTED. This branch is so weak that you think it might possibly be dead (it’s not, don’t worry!)
Print, draw or make your own tree and write your scale directly on it.
Select one of the lower-scoring branches to work on over the next year.
Once you have the branch you want to grow, you're ready to make a self love promise that'll help define and keep this commitment with yourself. The promise will make your commitment SMART and, if you stick to it, it'll give you a sense of growth in your ability to love yourself.
A self love promise is a sacred contract with yourself, made from 💕. It compels you to CHOOSE loving actions towards or thoughts about yourself. When 💩 gets hard, these vows will pull you through. They empower you to CHOOSE the path of love when you're pulled elsewhere.
So in the moments when you let yourself down, instead of beating yourself up over it, you have another CHOICE: self love in its many forms. The more often you choose self love, your branches will strengthen and your relationship with yourself will soar.
How you MAKE a promise is key to how well you'll actually KEEP it.
Shame-and-fear promises: “I will lose this extra weight if it kills me.” “I won’t eat dessert ever.” “I will eat a salad every day for a month.” “I’ll do whatever it takes not to be fat.” Self-love promise: “I will be myself, even if others don’t like it.” “No matter how much work there is to do, I make time for fun!” “I take care of myself first, without guilt.” “I will listen to and follow the guidance of my Inner Wisdom even when it’s scary.” “I only have loving, respectful relationships.” “I love myself exactly as I am right now.”
Notice the difference?
Which do you think you'd be more likely to stick to? Which is more likely to get you the results you want? The self love promise of course!
Six Tips for Making Self-Love Promises That Stick 1. Make the promise for yourself and yourself alone. Your motivation cannot be to keep a guy or girl, make someone else happy, fit in, or follow along. 2. Words matter. Choose the words that feel right for you. Choose words that resonate specifically with your heart and soul. Just as you can hear if a piano is out of tune when you strike a key, so too you can hear and sense if a word is discordant when you say it out loud or write it down. The art is in listening to what feels right, what resonates for you. You may need to keep writing and rewriting, choosing new words and moving words around. But when you tune in to what you really want to promise, you will feel it as soon as you hear it.
3. Omit the words WANT, TRY, and CAN. Include the words I PROMISE or I VOW. Want, try, and can create weak commitments that are, as a result, unsecured anchors, and we want you strongly committed and supported in your self-love promise. Saying “I will try to...” when making a promise is like quitting before starting. Lead your promises with the words I promise or I vow, and these words will reflect and hold the resonance of your resolve and commitment.
4. Make the promise visual and verbal. Promises cannot be thought into existence; they must be stated out loud so the sound vibration can pass through your lips, and your cells can vibe on the self-love waves. Your brain also needs to see the words through your eyes, allowing you to register this commitment in all the crevices of your mind, so write them down first, and then read them out loud. Pronounce and proclaim! That’s the name of the game.
5. Promises can be aspirational as long as they are believable. Some promises will feel like a stretch — and that’s good! Promises have the power to pull you forward into ways of being that you haven’t yet experienced or mastered. So yes, stretch! But don’t lie to yourself. Make sure you can commit to what you’re saying, or your promise won’t pack the power needed to inspire you to keep it. How can you tell the difference? It’s all in the way the words feel coming out of your mouth and landing in your body as you say them out loud.
Notice if you feel the following when you say the words: 💕 Do you feel grounded and empowered? 👍 💕 Do you feel nervous but still sense the possibility of the promise being true? 👍 💕 Do you feel like you really want to make the promise but something isn't right? Stop and rewrite your promise until it feels right. 💕 Do you feel nothing, like you're just blowing hot air? Stop and check in with yourself. What's blocking you? What are you afraid of with this promise? Then ask yourself what promise you are WILLING to make right now.
6. Be willing, not perfect. Most of the time when you make a promise, you won’t know what that promise will actually require you to do or become. Of course, you will have a feeling about what you are stepping into, but your mind cannot begin to even imagine how life will test you and gift you because of this deeper level of commitment to yourself. It is not important to have a plan or pretend that you are perfectly ready to meet every challenge you’ll face. What is important is that you are willing. If you are willing, you are ready.
Use the following questions to get clear on with you're ready, willing, and able to take on today to bring you more self love. 1️⃣ What do I need to say 🙅♀️ to in order to grow this branch? 2️⃣ What do I need to say YES to in order to grow this branch? 3️⃣ What would make me super happy to experience from growing this branch? 4️⃣ What promise comes to mind immediately after answering the above?
Don't censor or edit yourself; just write the first thing that pops up. This is the self love promise you'll craft into something that can keep you coming back to loving yourself over and over again!
When you write the final wording of your self love promise, feel free to get crafty with it. Create your promise as a work of art that you look at and say to yourself daily.