Its been four years since I lost my sis to a drunk driver. You see that word “years” and you think silently to yourself it’s okay. It’s been years. Sure it stings but he’s fine. He’s not. They are not. I love hard, the people that took care of me in my life I cherish like no other. Those people I hold great admiration for. Great respect. When you lose that person, it never goes away. You’re given a weight that you hold for the rest of your life. That weight doesn’t magically become lighter, only heavier. Your heart cracks and that doesn’t heal. You learn to live with a void bigger than life itself. I get worse day after day. To this day I can only type her name. I simply can’t say it out loud without cracking mentally. It sucks. It just sucks. Tired. Exhausting. That sun just doesn’t shine like it used too. This isn’t for empathy. This isn’t to be a sob. Care for your people man. Take care of your family. And never end a conversation on a negative note. Love
I feel this CT thank you for sharing. Your words touched me very much.
Well said Lisa…
I’ve had a lot of big losses in my life and either closure is a myth, or I’m grieving in a way that doesn’t allow me to have closure. I debate with myself which is truer for me, but I can’t help but feel it can get better for you. I made a conscious decision with each loss that I had an ever growing responsibility to throw myself at life in bigger ways. That what I could make of my life made me a living monument to them and living testimony of the mattering of their lives. That only by living my life to the fullest would the world still know them, and know how brilliant and amazing they were, through me. That only by the love I could give away would their light still shine in the world. I am their splendid torch. What decisions have you made about life as a result? Have you closed yourself off to keep from getting hurt like that again?
And I think you can safely ignore that last bit; read your bio! And I think that what you said about not waiting to lose them to get your wake up call - wake up now! Is one of the most brilliant things I have heard in a very long time