Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Good afternoon. Wisdonians! Welcome to Gillian’s corner. Who is with us today ?
4
148 Replies
Reply
Show previous replies
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Exactly and that will affect your well-being. Mental and physical
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
So has anyone developed techniques to protect them from burnout - generosity burnout
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
I take scheduled "me time".
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
You might find that you have become so busy dealing with everyone else's demands that you no longer have the time for the people who really count.
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
That certainly happens
1
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Don't be afraid to ask for help or to designate.
1
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
Hi Gill. Good topic. I think burnout is very common in the helping professions. I am definitely a giver.
2
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
You and me both Iris.
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
So common in the helping professions
1
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
I found in my nursing career that stepping away from things is helpful, when it is deemed safe to do so of course
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
So we know it’s common. We know it’s costly - let’s switch gears and discuss strategies to deal with it
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Remember I wrote that there are two groups of givers.One group that could hinder the development of the people to help, and one group that actually helps the people they assist
1
Reply
🦁
Lion
19 Jan
I agree give without becoming a crutch
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Maybe even setting aside "giving time" is good.
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Yes !
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Exactly
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
That way it doesn't become too much.
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Set aside giving time. Now this is such an interesting strategy. What do you think is better, meaning- more sustainable
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Giving everyday or chunking your giving into specific times and days ?
1
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Right ! Easier said than done sometimes.
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
I think thinking things through and reverting to the giving mode as a knee jerk reaction really helps. But there are times when giving is good.
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Yes of course ! We love givers
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
And there is a concept called the helper’s high !
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
We benefit just as much and likely more from giving
Reply
🦁
Lion
19 Jan
Yes I feel that too because givers are taking action
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
One down fall to designating giving time is that some people will feel guilty because bthey don't think they are giving enough
1
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
I meant not reverting on auto pilot to giving and giving more. I do agree that having too much given or done for someone can hinder their independence and growth.
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
But we need to put boundaries around or giving or else we will burn out and the people that count on us for assistance won’t have our help
3
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
Yes and you can’t pour from an empty cup or when your bucket is full of holes and all the sand is leaking out. I remember what that was like, raising my young kids, caring for an almost paralyzed first husband, guardian for nephew with substance abuse problem, directing my non-profit, dealing with government red tape and hysterical, needy clients. It was a recipe for disaster. My health suffered greatly and I did not recover for some years. It took a toll on my family too, though I tried my best. I am, thankfully, much older and wiser. I know when to pull back.
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Society pressure
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Anyone want to weigh in on my question. Should we speak our giving over a week or chunk it into 4 hours one day a week ?
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
I think that needs to be decided on an individual basis
3
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
You need to be firm on how, when and duration
1
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
We all have lives and those lives need balance
4
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
I think this is such an interesting finding. The research indicates that we are best off giving in chunks !
1
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Agreed 👍
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Researchers believe we get the most bang for our buck when we do it that way !
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
What are your thoughts ?
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Find your passion in life and give to that passion
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
That is also a great strategy. Give to causes that excite you.
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
We want to cultivate practices that are sustainable. Not ones that burn us out
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
We have some time - does anyone else have practices that renew their energy so they don’t get burnt out?
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
I enjoy doing a workout it helps me to refocus, meditation is always a go to as well.
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
I have a question for your guys
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
In the summer months gardening is my zen
1
Reply
🦁
Lion
19 Jan
Monotony is the killer of many things
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
As givers - do you have difficulty asking for help ?
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Yes, sometimes
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
That is classic behaviour of a giver
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
I just think that people will think less of me if I ask for help.
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
And yet we also need to learn how to balance the scales. How to ask for what we need
3
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
And yet - the reality is - people will just think your human !
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Asking for help is slowly becoming easier for me, I guess I'm a work in progress
1
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
Aren’t we all!
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
As long as we recognize that we have just given a “chunk” and then make a conscious effort to balance by retreating and treating ourselves well.
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
I also want a suggest another very interesting strategy
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
This is not for clients
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
It is for people who in your network who you help.
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
When they say thank you or ask what can they do for you - what do you say ?
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
That's why I'm here
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Here one to add to your toolbox
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Invite them to pay it forward
3
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
That is a very wonderful way to go. Or helping them to think of ways they could best use their own talents and energy.
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Again - these are not coaching clients
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
These are people in your network
2
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Well friends. Thank you for your insights and for showing up. It’s always insightful to have your input !
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Thanks Gil
1
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
I look forward to seeing you next week in Gillian’s corner. Stay safe. By for now !
Reply
🎾
Tennis
19 Jan
Bye
Reply
Dr. Gill Leithman, PhDAuthor
19 Jan
Bye
Reply
🌴
Palm Tree
19 Jan
Thank you. Everyone take care!
1
Reply
🦉
OwlHelper
20 Mar
Sorry I miss this session ; Raymond
Reply
Want to see more replies?
Wisdo is a coaching community that cares. Sign in to connect to peers and coaches who will urge you on!