Hello and welcome to this week’s topic supporting your wellbeing through change 👋
Today we’re going to dive into the concept of change in a more granular level... In much of my coaching, change is often this big grand thing that has the potential to disrupt several dimensions of our lives. But what about small-scale change. Change we want to embody in immediate ways?
Hello how do I connect
Hello and welcome! We are connected now and you’re welcome to send me a dm if you’d like to chat 1-1
I’m thinking about upcoming family engagements. Whether it’s in-person with a small group or on zoom, family and holiday time has a way of defaulting to certain habits. Perhaps there’s a habit you’d like to change? In regards to the way you interact with your family?
We know this year of 2020 there are SO many external factors that have happened to us. We had no say. No ability to stop or start something from happening (the pandemic for example)
Hey Samantha I’m a transgender girl and which my parents don’t support me but going Christmas shopping and buying girly stuff I feel happy I’m a girl
So here’s the fun part (and often also the TOUGH part) Control the controllable A simple but profound concept to root us back into our personal power and integrity
I get scared if people look at me weird because I’m transgender
Hmm I’m sorry that the fear doesn’t feel good :/ This is a great opportunity to think about separating - what it is that others do that you can not control. And I’m that moment what can YOU control that would support your wellbeing? I’d be happy to brainstorm with you if it’s helpful - or perhaps simply something to ponder
That I’m a girl and I shouldn’t be scared
So it sounds like you’re choosing to control your reaction by rooting down into your identity. And a sort of shrug your shoulders response 🤷♀️ why would it matter what that stranger thinks of me?
This is one of the wonderful things about reflecting in our wellbeing and what’s healthy for us. We have a chance to not only feel empowered in the way we choose to RESPOND (to a pandemic, a dirty look, a let down, a bad driver) We also have the opportunity to put our energy and effort into the things WE can control from the start (having time in nature, journaling, drinking water, etc) this combination of wellness tools that build us up from the inside out 💪💪
I don’t know I’m scared because of people but I shouldn’t be scared
When we experience an emotion- it’s trying to tell us something important! However the emotion is often not helpful in telling us the best way to act. What if I’m that moment of being scared, you asked yourself, “what is this fear trying to tell me?”
Rather than feeling afraid Cary- what do you wish to be feeling?
And in pain
Hi Cary- you’re safe here. If you’d like to share any more of your fear and pain either here or in a dm, you’re welcome to. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this tough time
I’m afraid of catching the virus
The virus is a valid fear - that I imagine many of us share! It’s a great example, if we may use it- of within this situation (catching or not catching the virus) What am I in control of?
Which part resonates with you? :)
Safe and comfortable
Beautiful. And if you were to stretch yourself and describe “what does safe mean?” “How do I know that I’m comfortable?” It can be so helpful to clarify that vision of what we are seeking 💙
So, tribe, as we wrap up this session I encourage you to continue thinking about situations ahead of you and what can YOU control (before during and after)
I will share with you mine for extra accountability 😃 I can control continuing my journaling and exercise through the holidays to support my energy and mindset. I can control showing up respectful and kind with my family. I can control taking a break or leaving early if I’m feeling triggered by a family member/situation and need some space to rest.
Best wishes to you this coming week!!
The hardest thing to keep in my mind was that I can’t control another persons actions, what I can control is my response to them. I don’t want them to win twice.
Absolutely! I know I can be so focused on wanting/trying to control the other that it distracts me from the moment of choosing something I CAN control for me. Thanks for sharing that!
I don’t know
And that’s ok! There’s no right answer. Perhaps something to ponder these next few days. How does safety feel to me? How do I know when I feel safe? That awareness may be very helpful