Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Hello, and welcome to happy healthy worthy wealthy Refirement!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Hi Becca! Welcome back, great to see you!
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Fox
11 Jun
Hi 🙂
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
That’s great Becca, congratulations 🥳 for showing up more!!!
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Fox
11 Jun
I’m trying it in all aspects of life, as I’ve realised I’m happier when I’m not keeping to myself
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
For me, I believe inner peace is the ultimate goal! When Were feeling calm within the whole world is so much better, yes?
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Fox
11 Jun
Definitely
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
That is absolutely beautiful Becca! Showing up and being who we are is the key to living a happy, healthy, worthy, wealthy life. We each are unique individuals, with her own take on the world, and when we contribute to others, we make the world a much brighter place
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Fox
11 Jun
I miss contributing to others - I’m trying to implement changes to get back to being me
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So let’s explore some ways to become a calmer person!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Ah! Shall we take a minute to explore what making a ‘contribution to others’ means?
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I think for many of us, we put pressure on ourselves because we think we’re not contributing enough. Yet, I believe we contribute at the amount we can contribute at the time. It’s that judge in our head, telling us that we’re not contributing enough, that adds to the inner turmoil, rather than inner peace.
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Fox
11 Jun
I have that A LOT. It’s expectations of where you should be, rather than enjoying where you are in life
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Yes, that’s exactly it!!! That shooting on ourselves! LOL I said shoulding but auto correct put it as shooting, which also makes sense!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So, when you hear that voice of the judge in your head, telling you you should be doing more, you should be contributing more etc. etc., what could you tell yourself instead that would bring you back to a place of peace?
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Fox
11 Jun
I try to remind myself that even small steps in the right direction are keeping me moving forward
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Beautiful!!!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Yes, an affirmation works! Another one, might be, ‘ I choose to let go of judgment. Who I am and what I do is more than enough!’ I am perfect, whole, and complete just as I am!’
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Fox
11 Jun
I find that one difficult as I’m not happy with who I am right now, but I’m working on it
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So, I hear you judging yourself as not being enough right now?
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Fox
11 Jun
Yes, I do that a lot. People treat me that way, too
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Using an affirmation that is believable to you is important that’s for sure! So, it might be adding on ‘ I choose to be happy with who I am in this moment!’
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
It’s finding out what works for you, and what makes you feel better!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
An exercise that works really well, is to do some deep breathing, focussing on your breath, breathing in and out. Do that a few times, and then feel what you feel when you think that- where does it feel in your body? Then hug that part, accept it, and continue focusing on your breath.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
By hugging it, I mean hug it from the inside, with the energy of the breath. Imagine the breath coming in through the top of your head and flowing down and out through the bottom of your feet. On its way travelling down the body, it hugs the area that hurts and then continues on down. Next when you breathe then you breathe in with your focus onYour feet, travelling up through your body and out through the crown of your head, once again hugging the part that hurts in your body when you think that.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Visualizations work well!
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Fox
11 Jun
I feel like I’m always worrying, and that’s something I want to stop doing
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I believe the way we feel about ourself colours the way we see the world. So when we feel we’re not enough, we see that others think that too.
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Fox
11 Jun
I agree with that. Sometimes others intentionally show they don’t think much of you though
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
And that’s all about them, not about you!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Yes, worry is a bad habit, and, like all habits, we can change it with practice!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I remember years ago, going to hear Teri cole Whitaker speak, and her topic was ‘what others think of me is none of my business!’ That was like a lightning strike to me, as until that point In my life, I cared deeply about what others thought of me
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
As I became more authentic, more real, I realized that as long as I’m coming from a place of good intention, and trying to understand the other persons point of view, being the best me I can be, it really doesn’t matter what others think of me.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So, let’s get back to some ways to Practice calmness rather than worry!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
The first step to change is always awareness, so when you find yourself worrying, just being aware that that is what you’re doing is a great thing! Sounds like you’re already there!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Sometimes it’s great to put on a guided meditation and calm ourselves with that.
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Fox
11 Jun
Lately I feel like I have to justify myself to people at work who keep judging me, and I don’t like doing that
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So, are you worried about losing your job if you don’t justify yourself?
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Fox
11 Jun
In one respect I was, but I had a meeting for that last week. My colleagues are talking down to me as I’m going to take some leave to focus on myself, and I feel like I owe them an explanation to stop them judging me
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HamsterHelper
11 Jun
Tried joining but link not working
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Hi Mary! Welcome!!! Great to see you here!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Sorry Becca, I can only see part of your comment.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I can’t seem to past going to take
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Fox
11 Jun
Take leave to focus on myself, and they make me feel like I have to keep explaining myself to stop them judging me
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Congratulations for making the decision to take a leave and work on yourself! What if you just stopped trying to explain yourself?
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Fox
11 Jun
They make horrible comments and then I feel I have to defend myself
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
All you really need to say is I am taking time off for personal reasons. Or health reasons.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Yes, and it becomes a vicious circle doesn’t it? We feel we have to defend ourselves so we get defensive and try to explain and it just continues on and on a vicious circle!
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Fox
11 Jun
And those who judge don’t really want to hear the defence, either
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
So sometimes, rather than doing that rather than trying to defend yourself, try to see what’s behind there question or comment. Then ask them what it is. Or saying ‘I feel like i need to defend myself. What I’d really like is your support or understanding or whatever it is.
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Fox
11 Jun
Recently I said “I don’t appreciate being judged” but it didn’t help. The guy thinks he knows better than my doctor
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
No, they don’t want to hear that defence, you are absolutely right!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Have you ever heard of nonviolent communication? By Marshall Rosenberg?
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Fox
11 Jun
No, but it sounds very relevant to this situation
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
There are many many videos of his videos on YouTube. He died a few years ago. And he has a book by the same name.
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
You might find the book an interesting read!
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Fox
11 Jun
I’ll see if I can find it
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Mary, this is a text group talk. Were you thinking it was zoom?
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HamsterHelper
11 Jun
Yes now that i know i will be there
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I think I’ll have to start doing zoom chats rather than text! When I started here it was door, it was all by text! I haven’t switched over yet, and I’m thinking it’s time to do so!
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Fox
11 Jun
I haven’t got zoom, I don’t like video chats
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Great Becca, It’s a great read!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Yes, there’s that too Becca!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
OK, so today we talked about breathwork, meditation, visualization, affirmations, non-judgment as some tools to help create more inner calmI think a big one fmis to get out in nature. When you get that worry stuff going on just put on your shoes and go for a walk around the block. Focus on what’s around you, rather than what’s going on in you head!
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Fox
11 Jun
I try, but can be difficult around my work pattern. It holds me back!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Lots of different techniques and were out of time!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Thanks so so much for joining me today! I hope you found this beneficial, and have some new ideas of what to do
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
I remember something my mom always used to say, worry is like a rocking chair – it keeps you busy but you go nowhere!
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Fox
11 Jun
Sometimes - other times it makes me act
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Create an incredible week, filled with happiness, great health, worth and wealth! Hope to see you next week!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Lol true Becca! Sometimes there’s a gentler way to get ourselves into motion rather than worrying!
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Norma ReidAuthor
11 Jun
Chow for now!
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