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Owl
14 Feb 2020
My period is 2 weeks late, I had light spotting for 2 days after it was a week late then it stopped, I randomly threw up the other night, and I’ve been peeing a lot. I haven’t taken a test, was going to wait for my period to be a month late. Could I be pregnant? Thoughts?
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Duck
14 Feb 2020
hey new to this group! im 18 years old and have just been told i am infertile.. i always wanted to have children and now... idk how to feel
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Maple Leaf
18 Feb 2020
I’m concerned about my infertility because I have PCOS. Most PCOS cases go undiagnosed, but mine has been diagnosed at the age of 20. But, I’m also not sure how each pregnancy itself is affected by it.
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Mango
25 Feb 2020
Hi everyone I’m jo and I have PCOS and really want a baby but it’s not happening .
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frisbee
26 Feb 2020
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 I 100% know how hard it is to keep moving forward when you feel you are being constantly pushed back down again. I honestly would not have predicted my life would turn out the way it is. I kept pushing, kept going, kept trying. I may not have the life I imagined, but for the most part I’m happy with it. Sometimes we need to reassess how we live our lives. It’s not easy but it can be done. Hold your head high and don’t let other people bring you down.
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Elephant
27 Feb 2020
ugh i’m late but according to some app i’m 8days late but who’s to say either i’m two weeks late or almost a month late..😐 i’m unsure but i wanna blame my thyroid even though a month ago i was spotting the for like a week here and there. i’m not sure what to do
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Mango
29 Feb 2020
Hi everyone! I have created a subgroup for people with endometriosis! If you’d like to join send me a message or find it on the subgroup page ❤️
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Grapes
4 Mar 2020
Check out Kindness Practice What can you help other Wisdo members with? __
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frisbee
14 Mar 2020
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 When you are struggling with infertility it’s hard to know where to look for support. Below are some links which have some great advice. Remember I’m always here to chat with anyone who needs it 😊 https://resolve.org https://fertilitynetworkuk.org
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Mango
17 Mar 2020
Question. I started spotting today ,but I already had a period this month . I do see that I’m ovulating today but this has never happened to me. Has this happened to anyone?
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Giraffe
21 Mar 2020
Hey guys! I wasn’t sure where else to go before knowing if i should see a doctor. with all this virus stuff going on, i’m trying to stay out of the doctors office. but i started my period 15 dpo and it’s been really really light and i would now be 19 dpo and my stomach is cramping fairly bad but no bleeding. anybody ever experience anything like this before??
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Fox
24 Mar 2020
Has anyone in here fell pregnant with pcos ?
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Chipmunk
25 Mar 2020
Hi guys, was just wondering if theres anyone here who has PCOS and their partner has low sperm count and they've still been able to have a baby? I'm really struggling with the news that we have low count as well. I'm not sure if we will ever have a baby now :(
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Chipmunk
25 Mar 2020
I want to cry I just looked up the prices of the place we are going to seek fertility treatment and the prices for IVF are upwards of 6,000. I dont have that kind of money 💔
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frisbee
28 Mar 2020
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Violin
9 Apr 2020
We’ve been trying for a year and a half now. We’ve had 3 pregnancy losses in that time. We see all of our friends and high school students getting pregnant and I just feel hate towards every pregnant woman I see. All I can think is how unfair it is 😭 I’m so sorry I don’t want to feel that way but I do
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Maple Leaf
11 Apr 2020
I just don’t get it I’ve always wanted to be a mom and every time I get pregnant I end up having a miscarriage all of my friends and relatives have babies what is wrong with me I’m starting to feel like I’m being punished and I’m ready to give up
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frisbee
11 Apr 2020
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 Yes it’s true, you are FREAKING INCREDIBLE. Don’t ever forget that! I know it’s hard to believe at times but try to accept it as the truth.
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Tropical Fish
3 May
Hi if anyone wants a buddy with similar fertility problems as me let me know - i’m in my mid 20s, was told i could never have a kid but have had one miscarriage, trying to become a single parent
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frisbee
3 May
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 All too often, while going through this journey, I found myself trying to comfort other people who were upset, not at me but for me. I ended up giving more attention to their problems than trying to help myself. Don’t ever forget that you are important, you are the one dealing with this 100% of the time. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve for what you can’t have, also allow others to help you too. Don’t shut yourself inside and try to deal with everything on your own, let others know what it’s like. Rely on others, but remember to look after yourself too 💜
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Maple Leaf
24 May
Hi! I’m brand new to this group and just need someone to chat with about my fears. Preferably someone who is queer or identifies as lgbtq+ and has had trouble conceiving. Sort of niche but i don’t feel like i can constantly burden my partner with this. Is there someone who would be willing to talk with me?
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Evergreen Tree
24 May
Hi ... I had this app while in high school but then I deleted it and now that I’m graduated and I’m now in a serious relationship... my bf and I have been trying for a baby but ... I’m afraid that I’m infertile and everything I’ve been dealing with makes sense now that I’ve opened my eyes I don’t have anyone to talk about it with so I came back here
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Sun
24 May
Anyone in their early thirties and having fertility issues? On my second IUI and just started feeling period cramps. I am just feeling empty and hopeless
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Bear
2 Jun
Hello everyone xx
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frisbee
6 Jun
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frisbee
7 Jun
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 When I was going through my journey I had no one to talk to about how it felt, how I felt, and what I saw for my future. Wisdo gives us a safe place to chat to each other and I’m so glad I found it. I’m here to chat to anyone who is struggling 😊
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frisbee
23 Jun
How is everyone in the group doing? Are you coping ok during lockdown/easing of lockdown? I’m here if anyone needs a chat anytime 😊
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frisbee
11 Jul
🌹🌹🌹PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 One of the most difficult things I had to do was learn to love myself again, I felt it was my fault I was having so many issues. It was not my fault, I was not to blame, and neither are you 💜💜
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Koala
14 Jul
Everyone in my life is having babies and I’m just over trying for years and nothing and I’ve never felt so empty and lost and worthless
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Mango
16 Jul
Hey everyone. My partner and I have been trying now for months and years. Every month we try, every month I get my hopes up after having one belly ache, every month i come on and every month I'm disappointed and feeling depressed. Any advice for dealing with this emptiness or any unique advise about conceiving. I spend most nights researching but it's worth a shot 😢
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frisbee
22 Jul
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 I know it’s hard to keep yourself motivated when trying for a baby, to keep your relationship on a firm footing. Try to do little things together such as having a romantic meal together, curling up on the sofa with a good movie and snacks, going for a leisurely walk or a drive somewhere. It’s important not to allow what is happening with your fertility affect your relationship in an adverse way. Work together during this journey because it’s so easy for partners to drift apart
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Lion
30 Jul
Hey, I have PCOS and have been trying to conceive for nearly 3 years, I also struggle with depression and due to the meds I take I have put on weight, when I was referred to fertility they said they can’t help me cos I’m overweight🥺 and i can’t stop crying and feeling even more depressed, my PCOS and medication for depression is not left me lose weight, I’ve tried everything, dieting, exercise, calorie counting but PCOS stress hormones make me put on more weight, any advise?
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frisbee
13 Aug
🌹🌹🌹 PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 It can be hard to remember to look after yourself when trying to conceive. It’s important though, you deserve and need to be kind to yourself too 😊
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Owl
23 Aug
Everyone doing ok this morning? Message me if you need to talk. I’ll be on for a little while then usually in and out throughout the day.
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Bear
25 Aug
I am 125kgs, TTC since a year. My doctor today told me that I am unfit to carry a child because of complications such as my AMH is very less. I am shattered into pieces.
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Bear
25 Aug
Is there any way improve AMH level. And I want to loose weight to conceive naturally. Please help me
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Tennis
5 Sep
I hope this acceptable to post: For anyone struggling to find their womanhood (or manhood, but this is a primarily female-focused post) as they struggle with fertility issues, or perhaps - like me - life has just not led you down the path you thought it would and you’re confronting that being a mother might not, for whatever reason, be a part of your journey on this earth: This a transcript of part of a podcast I’ve been listening to this morning over my morning coffee in my quiet house where my animal companions are snoozing in the sun and there are no giggles or whines of children who need to be fed and entertained, but nor is anyone lavishing me with affection or rewarding me with purpose through their dependence on me. On days like this I feel a peaceful sadness. It’s helping me to fill a little bit of the gap in my life by discovering this app, and being able to share experiences with others around the world who have and are struggling for their own reasons, who help to inspire me, allow me to feel understood, or even to feel a little useful through an insight or just an ear I can lend to them. Over recent years, podcasts have become another invaluable source of connection and inspiration for me, and this revolutionary conversation that one of my favourite podcasts allowed me to eavesdrop on this morning I just had to share with this group. You might not agree with everything these women have to say, but I hope you might find a thought or two to take away with you that might grow into something helpful to you. My intention is not to trivialise the pain of desperately wanting to carry children and having that choice taken from you biologically. I don’t know that pain. But I fear that if I ever end up in a position where I’m able to consider becoming a mother, it will be too late for me biologically. I recently discovered a little pink book down the back of my dad’s record player that I was cleaning literally decades of dust-clad cobwebs from behind, that was called My Secrets. I instantly recognised it in a wave of nostalgia, and the first page I flicked to, in a wobbly scrawl, in response to the books prompt: “When I grow up I want to be...” read the words “a mum forever”. I might not be able to fulfil that little girl’s wish. But I’m doing all sorts of things in my life every day as a grown up that I know she would have been over the moon to imagine if I could go back and tell her about them. These two women who’s snippet of conversation I want to share (and I believe they wouldn’t personally mind though I think it’s a bit dicey in terms of copyright? Moderators? It’s advertising! I’ll link to the podcast itself below) have chosen at this point in their lives, in their mid-thirties, that they don’t want to be mothers. That’s a different thing than facing infertility. But I also believe that there is an enormous burden that women, in particular, carry with us from the time we are introduced to our first doll, perhaps literally at our own birth, which is the historical cultural and even spiritual narrative that motherhood is our purpose; that womanhood = motherhood. I really want to help to spread the conversation that we don’t need to carry this narrative if it doesn’t serve us in our own lives. So with that in mind, if you’re interested, here is one of the most poignant excerpts of conversation about alternatives to motherhood that I’ve ever heard. Please be mindful, though, if you might be triggered by women discussing not wanting to be mothers, as I know it might feel like they are stepping all over your pain. I’ve included the lead up to the topic of motherhood as personally I found some relevant and healing insights in this earlier part of the discussion too, including our drive to be nurturers - that in fact we need to offer that to ourselves perhaps more than anything - and the radical perspective of embracing old age as a woman. Trigger warnings: Strong feminist (but not anti-male) ideas, passing references to racial prejudice and a passing reference to abortion. I’m listing these as trigger warnings because, although I am strongly for gender equality, racial equality, and the right to abortion, I don’t think forcing people to confront these issues (whether for or against) when they aren’t in the right headspace is helpful to anyone, and I personally know how I can be emotionally triggered by topics even when I support the conversation around them. __________________________________ This is from the Podcast “I weigh” hosted by Jameela Jamil, and she is talking to her friend and fellow womens’ rights and mental wellness advocate Rachel Cargyle. Find more information about these women and their other projects, and listen to this podcast episode, here: https://omny.fm/shows/i-weigh-with-jameela-jamil/rachel-cargle Jameela: I think there’s something incredibly healing about making a connection with our younger selves, and [having] the chance to parent ourselves in a way that we weren’t parented. Or be a friend to ourselves in the way that we didn’t have friends. Or be the big sister that we didn’t have. Rachel: And so it’s just been a really healing exercise, and as I continue to share that with people - this practice of connecting to our younger selves - so many people have connected to it and it’s been incredible to see and experience. J Absolutely, and I’m sure I’ve said this before somewhere on this podcast, but I’m going to say it again, damn it! I’ve spent the last couple of years since my nervous breakdown about eight years ago trying to get back to who I was as a baby. I believe that that’s when we are perfect is when we are infants; when we are not self-conscious. We aren’t self conscious about the way that we look; we don’t notice differences between other people other than things that make us extra curious; we are so loving; we are demanding of our needs - we’re like, “I’m hungry”, “I’m lonely”, “I’m tired”, “I need a shit”... we’re very vocal about all of these things that we need. And as women, and women of colour in particular, and as a black woman, that is definitely something that we are shamed out of very early in life, and I wanna get back to her. ... J Who is older you? What’s she like? R Oh, you know, Jameela, with you, hanging out at some beautiful garden party in a long flowy kimono and sipping rosé and talking about all the incredible work we’ve been able to do in the world. I think that older me is a person who has found continuous spaces of comfort in who she is: as a writer, as a black woman, as a partner, as a citizen, as an academic. I’m just really excited to see the way that... right now, I’m able to celebrate what younger me has done to get me here, and I’m excited to celebrate me at a later time as well when I’m older. J I cannot tell you how relieved I am to watch you beam and smile as you think of your older self. R I do! I’m so obsessed with her. J I love that! I am exactly the same. I don’t wanna touch anything on my face. I wanna see my wrinkles. I love the little old Indian woman. Love! Love little old Indian babe. I want the white hair. I keep finding little white, very curly hairs randomly on my very straight head and whenever anyone tries to pluck one out I’m like, “No-no-no-no, I need that! That’s older me, she’s coming!” And it’s so rare to find another woman who’s also excited about ageing! Because we’re taught that all of the juice is in the youth. And this perfectly takes me to my next point, which is that - you know - I think part of that comes from the fact that we’re valuable while we can procreate, according to society, and once we can no longer make children, make babies, then we are no longer valuable. And that’s where the obsession on female youth comes from. I wonder if perhaps, part of the fact that you and I personally do not have an obsession or any feeling of obligation whatsoever towards having children, maybe that is what helps us explore the joy and the gratitude in even being able to age - something that people that we loved didn’t even get to do. We nourish that opportunity, like nurture that opportunity to get older and be wise, and pass what we’ve learned on to younger people. I can’t believe people get sad when they get a year older. I love every birthday because I’m so excited. R That’s so interesting, I have never made that connection: the reason why we value youth so much has direct connection to this idea that it’s in those younger years of our womanhood that we’re able to give birth. I’ve never made that connection but that absolutely fits the bill of where a woman’s value is held in being able to relish in motherhood. And oftentimes we don’t even give her the chance to relish in it, because they demand that she go back to work immediately, or they judge her for going back to work, or they judge her for staying at home. So it’s a very interesting space, motherhood. And as someone who has been a live-in nanny, full time nanny, for a long time before I was able to start writing and speaking full time - J Is that why you don’t wanna have children?! R Well it probably adds to it! But i always say, having that experience, that I am making an educated decision. It’s not just me saying, “Oh, I think I just don’t want it.” And people can say they just don’t want it - that is just as valid as me seeing and being part of the day-to-day of raising children and realising I would much rather sleep in on a Saturday if I want to than have to get up and take my three year old to Spanish class. Or I just don’t find a deeper value - J Very intense for a three year old, but yeah, go on. [Laughter] “I’m going to take my two year old to quantum physics school!” R Anyone who has ever been a nanny in DC or New York, you know these three year olds are in Spanish class, for sure! J Amazing. I love that. I love a bilingual babe. Sorry, carry on. R But I was able to make decisions and see, “Oh, this is the day-to-day of motherhood. This does not match my ideal day-to-day. So I’m just going to go ahead and make the decision not to explore that as part of my personal life journey. And it gives me personally and a lot of other people I’ve been connecting with on this topic, the chance to indulge in the other relationships that we play into: into showing up in really fun ways for the children that are in our lives as nieces and nephews, or as little cousins, or as neighbours, or in other ways where I - and I’m sure you too - deeply value connection with children. I don’t wanna birth them, but I love them and I value those connections. J Meh, I don’t really care. I don’t care. Whatever. Sorry, keep going. R That’s fine. It’s just ... that this conversation isn’t based around hating children, it’s based around our own life day-to-day decisions, and so there’s so many ways that we can still make that a part of our lives - or not a part of our lives - and it not be rooted in disdain for anything or anyone, it’s just purely [that] what I want doesn’t match what we understand is the day-to-day journey of motherhood. J You have this instagram account that is a fairly recent account called “The Rich Aunties”? R It’s called “Rich Aunty Supreme” [@richauntiesupreme] J Oh “Rich Aunty Supreme,” that was it! Where you have created this glorious, joyous space for women who have decided not to have children and therefore to share the indulgence of their lives, and all of the holidays that they’re going on, maybe during half-term; and all the great Saturday nights out; and all the ways that you can spend your money and spend your time, or enjoy lovers, and enjoy just endless freedom. And it is such a celebratory space for a woman’s autonomy to just enjoy her life. It’s been so recent that we’ve even been given, like, vague permission to just enjoy ourselves. R Yeah, to consider it as an option. J Or to earn any money or to have anything of our own or to have any kind of freedom - we’re only still working towards that, really. And so, damn straight if we don’t wanna now go into, like, another form of service for the rest of our lives. If you want to, that is wonderful, and beautiful, and I may still do that. I’m gonna put my eggs on ice so that I can make that choice when I’m in my forties. But for the next six years, no f***ing way. Maybe never. ... R I think that it is a space for people to both be seen and heard in their decisions, and say, “Wow,” both, “I’m not the only one,” and, “I’m completely valid in this decision.” ... J And again, this is zero shaming whatsoever. I may still be a mother one day, I have no idea. But Currently it is just so recent for me to find other women to be able to have this conversation with, of just like, “I might not.” And also, this is a f***ing horrible world that I don’t know if I have the courage, personally, to steer someone else through! I’m so bad at it. I’m so bad at life in the world that I don’t know if I can effectively guide someone - another girl - through it. I’m afraid. ... R I think we really should be asking, “Are you sure you want to have kids? You might change your mind.” Because that’s just another way of, you know, deciding what women do with their bodies. J Oh my god, I can’t believe how much people try and talk me into having children versus when I had an abortion, how much people tried to talk me out of it. R That’s so interesting. J And by the way, at the time I was financially entirely unstable, I was so mentally ill, I was not in the right relationship, I was not in the right space in my life, I was right in the middle of my dreams, I was nowhere near where I wanted to be, and I had such a specific plan of what I wanted to do. And I wasn’t ready. And no one was taking in all of these very clear factors. And I explicitly didnt want a child, which is also a very important thing! Because you’re going to resent them anyway, often, because they’re very difficult, and fulfilling and amazing, but also very, very tricky, and that’s a huge responsibility - the biggest responsibility - so if you already go into it not wanting it and resenting it, that is a recipe for potential true disaster. The amount of people who, with all of these factors clearly out there - everything I was advocating for myself - they were still unsure if I was making the right decision. R For yourself. J Exactly. ________________________________ They aren’t discussing that biology may not be on a woman’s side, but I think the point they’re making that hit home so much with me is that ALL of the conversation so far throughout history has been about the ticking biological clock, and about instilling that fear in us that we will run out of time to be a real woman if we don’t act soon enough, and they’re trying to balance that with a different perspective, even if theirs is also a bit biased in the other direction. To hear this full episode go to https://omny.fm/shows/i-weigh-with-jameela-jamil/rachel-cargle
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Tennis
20 Sep
I have a condition called vaginismus; which prevents me from having sexual intercourse. It’s the spasming of muscles when penetration is attempted Making it difficult or impossible to have sex. I’m scared I may never have children due to this ☹️
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Chestnut
6 Oct
Any advice to get pregnant ive been trying for a while and nothing.... 😒
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Lemon
8 Nov
Haven't found mate yet and considering starting a family on my own. unable to bear children for medical reasons and want to get surrogate to help. Has anyone dealt with similar situation? Any advice?
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Owl
14 Nov
I got tested and I can have kids but why is it so hard for me to
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Mango
17 Nov
Hello, is anyone able to chat. Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for over a year now. Every other month or so, I'll get one symptom of pregnancy and get so excited, then I'll think of every tiny thing that has happened that could be another symptom if that makes sense. I would love to chat to someone who has been pregnant to talk about their early pregnancy symptoms and experiences and see if they match mine. I appreciate any help. Thank you 🖤
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Fox
16 Dec
So I got diagnosed with PCOS a few years ago and I know with that comes the difficulty of getting pregnant. I’m young but I know I want a family and Im ready to really start looking into things. I had been on metformin for a while which I know could slightly help, but has anyone else with PCOS had any luck with a pregnancy? And if so what helped you in conceiving?
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Duck
6 Jan
im only 18 years old and when i was 15 i was told id never be able to have kids of my own. it didn’t phase me then, but now when i think about my future, i get really depressed knowing i won’t be able to experience a pregnancy and a family of my own..
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Chipmunk
14 Jan
I been trying for 7 months now what’s wrong why I ain’t conceived yet 😩
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Mango
14 Jan
I've noticed recently alot of people I know are getting pregnant. I'm happy for them but wished I was next. Only problem is I'm in a long distance relationship and only seen my fiance for just over 2 weeks this year .
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frisbee
9 Mar
🌹🌹🌹PMA Post 🌹🌹🌹 It can be so hard at times to accept the diagnosis of infertility, especially if you are around others who seem to fall pregnant very easily. I’ve been there, I’ve also worked with a boss who was pregnant. I’m here to chat to anyone going through this at anytime 😊 You are never alone
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Turtle
23 Mar
Join me in welcoming Henry to show your support. Reply and say hi 😊
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Turtle
25 Mar
Join me in welcoming Izzy to show your support. Reply and say hi 😊
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Popcorn
1 Apr
Can someone message me. I need advice x
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Turtle
Wednesday
Join me in welcoming B to show your support. Reply and say hi 😊
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