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Ice CreamAuthor
19 Nov 2018
I’m 20 years old and I’ve never had a serious relationship. When I start talking to someone, I think I come off way too strong or something and I scare people off. I’ve also noticed that people who do try to take me on dates just want sex or are twice my age with kids. I just want to be able to have someone there for me. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or what. But I’m really friendly and fun to be around so... anyone have any advice for me?
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Trumpet
30 Nov 2018
You’re still young Cassidy. There’s plenty of time for you to meet someone that you can be compatible with. Sounds like you’re a lovely young lady. Older men try and prey on the young. Don’t ever feel like there’s something wrong with you! Keep strong and enjoy your twenties xx
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Full Moon
30 Nov 2018
Cassidy your not doing anything wrong! I’m literally going through the same thing where only sex driven guys want me to date me or older men. You just have to push those people out and wait. Like waiting does suck and going through the rejects sucks to but you just gotta go through the trash to find the gem and you gotta be patient
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Lemon
1 Dec 2018
20 is still so young. It doesn’t sound like there’s anything wrong with you at all, I’ll bet if anything you have enough maturity to wait for the right person and not settle for something that’s going to waste your time or energy. Don’t let the idea that because you’re 20 and no committed relationship that you’re doomed, and don’t settle if you feel lonely. You have a whole world ahead of you and things to do, you’ll find him and you’ll be happy that you didn’t waste your time on people who maybe wouldn’t be as serious about it as you.
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Sunflower
1 Dec 2018
I go to the gym too
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Sunflower
2 Dec 2018
You ever need someone to talk to I’m here my ex physically hurt me and she mentally hurt me
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Turtle
3 Dec 2018
I advice for you not to care about these things, it’s not a completely necessary for you to find someone, if you do great if you don’t that’s great too. But if you really want to find someone take your time go out with people and stuff and maybe you’ll find the right person.
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Pineapple
3 Dec 2018
Hey I’m here for you if you want to talk 💛 inbox me
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Rabbit
3 Dec 2018
Thanks for sharing Cassidy. Sometimes I think the problem is me too. I feel the same way. You have so many years ahead of you. I am already in my 40’s and do not have a lot of time left. I’m not going to look as attractive as when I was younger. The click is ticking for me. I’m so discouraged and frustrated! I already feel it’s over for me. I’ve never been married and have no children.I think it’s already too late for me. 💔😞🥺 But what you shared makes me feel that I’m not alone in this situation. Weather young or older, I think there is something wrong with our society. No values, no loyalty, no integrity. People don’t care about love and respect anymore. They have enough with sex and moving in to the next. That yo me is so shallow and empty. Someday we will be old. I would like to build a history with a person. I can grow old with.
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Hibiscus
3 Dec 2018
I feel the same way that you do. I’m 25, never had a serious girlfriend or been married. Love will happen when you least expect it, with a person that truly appreciates you and your values. My aunt and uncle both had dated numerous people over the years. All of their relationships just seemed to fail. Both of them had almost given up on finding love. They both signed up for online dating at the same time and met on Match.com. They connected very quickly and are madly in love with each other. They recently got married and are both in their early 50s. I am patient and hopeful that love will come into my life soon. You should feel the same way because you deserve it, regardless of age ❤️
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Rabbit
3 Dec 2018
Haha... what about the people that are not 20? Lol Im double Cassidy’s age lol
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Lemon
6 Dec 2018
I think it’s better to take your time than to fall into the space of dating out of loneliness. You clearly see your value as a woman and that isn’t something that you’re going to waste. Building a genuine relationship with someone requires so much of your time, your vulnerability, literally your whole life. Being 40 maybe makes starting a relationship feel daunting but I’d say you’re probably the perfect age to actually build that! You’ve likely taken so much of your life experience, weeded out what you don’t need in your life and cultivated yourself and your independence. You’ve likely learned that there is no time for shallow and meaningless interactions or people who are going to make your life harder; I’d say you’re more ready for it than ever. Age is only a number, and not everyone who gets married at 25 is truly happy. Never give up on yourself or compromise who you are for someone that doesn’t see it. My guess is that love you’re searching for is right around the corner.
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Sun
4 Dec 2018
Same but I’m 25. I know why I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m far & ugly. No one wants a me.
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Trumpet
4 Dec 2018
I'm sure you are not fat and ugly :( x
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Hibiscus
4 Dec 2018
Be the them you want them to be. Do for yourself what you want them to do for you, I am 20 too and my bf is 31. Alot of the times, guys around our age don’t want anything serious right now. The best and only way it may happen is to look for friendship first and maybe, hopefully that can turn into something more butTBH the best advice I can give is to work, work, work on yourself and to follow all of your dreams and everything else that doesn’t involve a man right now. Because we can loose alot of out youth chasing love.
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Hibiscus
4 Dec 2018
From experience but GOOD LUCK and you will be a beautiful bride one day! Also try being celibate and letting it be known! It’s a whole new wolrd.
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Hibiscus
4 Dec 2018
World*
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Lion
4 Dec 2018
Hi and nice to meet you...I’m twice your age and I don’t have any kids even if I had two serious relationships in my life of 6 years each...My last relationship finished in March and my Italian girlfriend after 4 years abroad together, she decided to come back in Italy. So we split and I decided to stay abroad. Probably the problem is not about the people, I think that this period is wrong. For some weird reason the people they don’t want any kind of responsibility that is why they ask to you sex...because it’s easier and there isn’t any pain...
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Maple Leaf
4 Dec 2018
Exactly! This is my issue too, I wanna be in a serious relationship but this generation just wants sex. Instant gratification, and I think social media is to blame. They don't wanna invest themselves and risk a chance of heartbreak. and that's why we (saying we because it's my generation but it excludes me haha) over use the word love, and it's lost its meaning, so one day when we actually do feel love, it's terrifying and foreign because it's. Lol sry for the rant.
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Lion
4 Dec 2018
Sorry for my English...maybe it’s not good enough...
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Maple Leaf
4 Dec 2018
No I understood just fine
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Pineapple
4 Dec 2018
You are really young and still have your whole life ahead of you. Focus on living your life. From your day to day activities I am sure that you will meet someone. When that happens you just have to be a bit more cautious and get to know them before you commit. Wish you all the best. If you need a shoulder, just holler.
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Sled
5 Dec 2018
I wouldn’t say it’s you. I’m 24 and have been with the same girl for 6 yrs. She’s always ready for that next step to where I start to panic about it. Females mature faster than Males, so naturally ladies are ready quicker than dudes. Not always but statically speaking. It’s a time thing with a dash of right place right time. Head up, Prince Charming will come when you don’t expect it.
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Sled
5 Dec 2018
Also she is my first real relationship as I am hers, so you just never know.
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Lion
5 Dec 2018
My guy friend is looking for someone message me if you would like to chat to him
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Tennis
6 Dec 2018
i think you’re completely right. dealing with the things we go through we tend to come one strong. just ease back a little and if you really like him a and he’s there for you when you need him then it will work out. but you will push him away unless he truly loves you. it’s not you at all it’s what you think and go through. people like us can tend to have times where we aren’t emotional ready for a relationship so it’s going to be hard for a little but just talk to him and know he loves you and he’s there for you and you can get through anything
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Duck
6 Dec 2018
There is this guy who said he was crazy about me after we had sex
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Sun
8 Dec 2018
Not everyone is going to be confident about sex though :( but that’s wasssup lol
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Sunflower
7 Dec 2018
Hey! I’m 19 I being single for 6 years already never being in a relationship to be honest living your best life single is the best don’t rush to find a guy wait till the guy come to you I know guy only want girls for sex that happen to me it so sad but you will find the right guys I know guy these day want girls for sex disgusting things but to be honest from now on stay positive it ok to think about love that normal I also feel like having a boyfriend but at the same time I feel better single Take it easy life it too short you find a guy that is perfect for you my advice is you’re not wrong it take time love take time
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Violin
7 Dec 2018
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Sun
8 Dec 2018
That’s amazing
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Sun
8 Dec 2018
It just takes time. Honestly the world spins in different ways. Some people doesn’t want love anymore because they have been hurt and it’s sad for them on both sides of the story. I suggest becoming alone for a little. And eventually a right person will come to you.
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Bear
8 Dec 2018
Don’t worry at all hun.. I’m nearly 30 and I’ve only had 2 relationships. Don’t put pressure on yourself hunny. You’re still so young and will have years to meet someone... also men tend to mature later than women so that could also be a factor xx
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Popcorn
9 Dec 2018
I’m in the same situation as you except I’m 19 and never kissed a girl in my life everyone says I’m funny and cute but that’s cause I’m short and girls only like tall guys 😔
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Lemon
9 Dec 2018
Just be yourself ... if someone likes you ., they will want to get to know you and wait.
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Octopus
9 Dec 2018
I’ve felt this way before. I have met a few guys who only wanted sex and when I told them I want to remain a virgin til I’m married they “got scared.” I’m also 20 and I know plenty of people in college who are virgins (like myself), never kissed a guy, never been on a date, or had a relationship. I know it’s easier said than done, cause I’m guilty of this as well, but know that there is no time line to life. Things happen when they do. I hope this helps!
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Pineapple
9 Dec 2018
Like the saying goes, Good things come to those who wait. Never be too eager to grow up. Everything will happen when it happens. Just live your life. Before you know it you will be in your 40s and wonder where your life went. The grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe wishing to go back when life was more simpler.
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Guitar
9 Dec 2018
Has anyone ever given you the indication that you come on too strong? If not then don’t worry about that because it’s not you then. You’re doing everything you can and clearly the right people for you just aren’t coming along yet. But they will. Things like this sometimes just take a lot of time and patience but don’t give up
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Mango
10 Dec 2018
Keep networking and put yourself out there . Don’t go fir older men with kids . You don’t want to be the step mum . U will want to be a mum one day and don’t need to concern of someone’s else kids
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Octopus
10 Dec 2018
Yeah because dates only for married people who had best relationship with each other. And friends with the opposite gender can't be continuing along without flirting. So it's best to have limit line that friends or strangers never cross it.
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Sled
10 Dec 2018
First of all just be careful with who you talk to and hang around with because you can’t trust anyone now a days and the only thing you can fo is be yourself and just go out there and get yourself noticed yanno
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Umbrella
10 Dec 2018
Go out with a nice guy even if they aren’t your type. A guy that knows he is out of his league will do anything and everything to make you happy lol fact.
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Panda
10 Dec 2018
Hi Hope things are better for you now? Sounds like maybe you have been either trying too hard, not relaxing and being yourself or sadly meeting the wrong chaps. There are lots of nice men out there and a few good dating apps which might help you find the one ! Do hope things have got better for you.
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Sled
10 Dec 2018
Well what I did was. I went to an online dating site where I can go to “keyword” and type in what I’m looking for so I typed in “medical student” “doctor” “and 4 selections came up and I messaged one guy, he was what I was looking for 4 years older and now he’s my husband. :) no more random dating :) welcome to the new world!
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Tennis
10 Dec 2018
It's just that you should stop worrying about it and let life take its course. It's surprisingly peaceful.
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Drum
11 Dec 2018
Just be yourself, coming on strong just means you actually mean what you say and someone will appreciate it
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Whale
12 Dec 2018
I’m sick and tired of the same thing, always searching for something real and never finding it. Stuck in an endless cycle of heartache, it never gets easier. Just once it would be great to meet someone who wants me as much as I want them. I’m done with making the effort and being made to feel like I’m not good enough. Especially these days when so many guys pride themselves on cheating and banging as many women as they can or having “side chicks” todays culture breeds assholes in both men and women and yet there’s people like us who just want to find someone, it’s a damn joke.
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Tiger
13 Dec 2018
I thought I was the only person in your position
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Chipmunk
13 Dec 2018
I feel you just need to be calmer... and be yourself
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Hamster
14 Dec 2018
I’m 22. I’m having alittle trouble with my dating life. I’m not really sure what to do. I feel like I’m coming on to strong but at the same time I feel like I’m not doing enough.
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Chipmunk
14 Dec 2018
I'm not doing anything? My ex ruined everything for me
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Trumpet
14 Dec 2018
Hi Cassidy! You are not the only one! However, be aware of what you choosing! Think why you choosing the one?
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Turtle
14 Dec 2018
I feel u there isn’t nothing wrong with that at all I’ve been there I feel like uk what u want in. A relationship never settle for less when u know u deserve more!!!
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Duck
15 Dec 2018
Can someone message me private pls
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Guitar
15 Dec 2018
Cassidy, you are still quite young. A studies show that majority of people below the age of 26, aren’t mentally or psychologically ready for a monogamous relationship. Go out and make friendships. Only have sex with those you’ve known at least 2-3 months talking daily, and don’t date seriously until you are ready and prepared for parenting. #mytwocents
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Lemon
15 Dec 2018
Cassidy, I had your same problem. And the worse thing I could do was worry to much about it. For years I just though that I was no good for anybody. One day I started to take better care of myself and set my mind to do something that I liked, and I was amazing for it. I started to learn how to play tennis. I joined tennis groups, I got myself in really good shape and I met amazing people. Love comes when you least expect it and it came to me at the perfect time. Be patience and try to focus yourself in a healthy hobby. Good luck ❤️
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Mango
16 Dec 2018
i have been the same way cassidy spencer dont worry ur prince charming is out there !
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Mango
16 Dec 2018
its like the more affection u show them the more they pull away
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Hedgehog
16 Dec 2018
Rule #1 - No compromise on your character. No one should have to adapt who they are to get who they think they need. If you come across strong, then that’s not a negative thing, it is part of who you are. There are people out there who can deal with such intensity and others who are scared of it. Continue with life without caring what other people think of you. Your social circle may change, but it will be for the better as people who admire you will come closer. 1 step to the next 😊
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Deciduous Tree
17 Dec 2018
Try to hang out with people around your age or if you want to try going online to find someone to date
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Elephant
18 Dec 2018
If you focus on yourself, your study/job you will meet like minded people that are looking for the same as you Cassidy
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Lion
18 Dec 2018
I’m in a similar spot as you being 23 without having had a relationship. My inability to have a relationship stems from difference in life experiences and being unable to connect with people based on these experiences. As for advice, there is a difference in opinion on “fake it till you make it” or risking being genuine and losing a relationship. I would go the genuine route.
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