I feel really depressed today, again. I’m 22 and have anxiety and I’m also a worrier and have very low self-esteem. Can someone please help / tell me; is it bad if I don’t like random hook ups or one night stands, or just going to someone’s house for one night to have sex. Is it bad that I don’t like that type of thing, and would rather wait to go on a proper date with someone and do things properly? I feel like I’m boring and pathetic and weird for not liking spontaneous things like that. I’m worried as a guy I have been speaking to messaged me last night after having a drink (we’d been speaking before but he’d asked me this after a drink) and he asked me if I wanted to stay down his house tonight, as no one is home. But I feel like he was just asking me down for 1 thing, because we have never met and we have never gone on a date or anything - we have been speaking online for now and he mentioned going on a date but then he started talking rude to me and I kind of felt like he then wanted me just for sex, to put it bluntly. Because he started saying about he didn’t know what he wanted but he definitely wants to meet up / go on a date, and then he said to me ‘even if we just meet up and park up somewhere out of the way’ as if to imply he wanted to park up and have sex basically and to be honest, I’m not really into that type of thing. I’d rather meet someone nice and go on dates and do things properly. I’m not, and never have been, the type to sleep around or date casually / date multiple people and I’m worried .. is it me? Am I boring? Am I failure for this? :( I’ve told him I’m too nervous to go down his house today, and he seemed ok and said we can arrange for another time.. but I don’t know if he wants me for just 1 thing and I do like him and I’m worried he will stop talking to me if I don’t give in and I’d miss him if he were to stop speaking to me, but I don’t know what to do 😔
No you’re not a failure for anything. Do what you’re comfortable with. Also remember that anything that might feel like a failure or mistake you come across in your life is anything but. Always think of it as a lesson. Remember to put yourself first and take care of yourself. HU culture is toxic and unless you can detach your feelings from sex there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Thank you, I agree with you about the culture completely. I’ve never been the type to hook up with people and I’m not going to be. I’m just worried if I don’t give in he will stop talking to me. I would find it difficult to have sex with a random person, just because I would prefer to be with someone where it means something and who I’m comfortable with. Do you think it’s bad / boring I don’t like hooking up?